Stupid Human Tricks by David Letterman

A recurring gag that David Letterman had on his late night show was called "stupid human tricks." Now it looks like the gag is on him. It looks like he's secretly been sleeping with female employees from the show and it all came to light when a TV producer blackmailed him.

Last Thursday Letterman admitted on the show to his dalliances and it looks like he'll get away with it...at least from the public. I don't know about his wife.

"I think his fans are, for the most part, pretty forgiving," Boedeker said. "He's always made fun of himself and his looks. It's not as if he has set himself up as some paragon of virtue, and I really don't think this will hurt him in the long run."

Everybody involved in the situation has made the point Letterman's affairs took place before he was married.

A representative for Letterman's company, Worldwide Pants, said, "All the relationships David Letterman was referencing when discussing the matter on the 'Late Show' predated his marriage to Regina" in March.

Yeah, but it was still after they became a couple.

Why is it Americans hold a torch to the feet politicians who have affairs, but don't seem to care too much about other celebrities? We're still pissed at Bill Clinton and Eliot Spitzer, but apply a boys will be boys attitude to people in the entertainment business. Rock stars and actors are expected to screw around. So why do we care about the sex lives of politicians so much? Think about it, elected officials are the rock stars of the political world!

This is obviously a male issue, not a career issue. Humans are animals and they're programmed to screw, to multiply and replenish the world. If we're going to look at this from a moral perspective, let's not forget the Old Testament patriarch Abraham slept with his wife's maid. Indeed the most famous adultery story in the world comes from the Bible; David and Bath-Sheba!

There are so many stupid humans in this story -

David Letterman for shitting where he eats,
Robert Halderman for blackmailing Letterman
and moralistic Americans for expecting their male leaders not to act like males!

Mackenzie Phillips

Need I say anything more?

Angry Poop!

I guess I'm a pretty lucky dog. I have a warm house, a roof over my head, kibble in my bowl and a nice back yard to run around in. There are squirrels to bark at and birds to chase. My humans pay attention to me on command. I just bark and they come running. My male human has been around during the day a lot more. He claims he's "working" from home. All I know is he hogs space on my computer.

Sometimes my humans leave me by myself. They used to put me in a tiny box, but I didn't like that. Now they leave me in a room with tile floor and this funny roll of soft paper hanging down. I like to bat at that roll until all the paper unwinds and I can lay on the big pile of white softness.

Other times they'll leave me alone after they come home from that place they call "work." How dare they leave me again after they've been gone all day! To teach them a lesson, I poop. Unfortunately I never know when they're going to do this, so sometimes I don't have very much poop to express my disapproval. These are the angriest of poops because it takes a lot of effort to get that little tiny thing out.

My humans know I'm angry, because the poop is so small they know I could have held it. A big pile of crap they figure is their fault. A little speck...they know I'm angry!

Dumpster Diving Sex Freaks get Robbed

Damn humans are stupid! I am never going to run out of material to write about.

So, let's say you and the missus are feeling a little horny. Where do you go to do the deed?

Home?
A motel?
A car?

How about a stinky, dirty dumpster?

That's where a couple in Kansas went to satisfy their urges. I'm a dog and I wouldn't do it in a dumpster.

So how did we find out about their tryst? They got interrupted mid-shag and were robbed by two homeless guys...the type of people you might expect to see hanging around a dumpster.

Fortunately, police caught the robbers and they got their things back. I wonder if they'll try it again?

Party House Squatting Bank Executive Gets the Axe

It's a sad, stupid story. It began with the foreclosure of a multi-million dollar San Diego beach home lost because of the Bernie Madoff ponzi scam.

It ended with the firing of Cheronda Guyton, a Wells Fargo (WF) executive entrusted with selling the bank's portfolio of foreclosed properties.

How stupid do you have to be? These sound like the antics of a teenager left home alone for the first time. Maybe an entry level employee caring for the boss's house? Not a 39 year old bank executive.

Think she'll be able to find another job at the same level...EVER?

Stupid humans...

Masked Driver Makes Monkey out of Police

A Phoenix motorist is causing police fits because he won't pay speeding tickets. The recession has caused increased traffic enforcement to pad government coffers nationwide.

Dave Vontesmar won't pay his photo generated tickets because he doesn't think police can prove it's him driving.

"We watched him four different times put the monkey mask on and put the giraffe-style mask on," Officer Dave Porter told AZcentral.com. "Based on surveillance, we were positive that Vontesmar was the driver."

Really Phoenix police? You've got nothing better to do than stake out an alleged speeder?

Stupid police...

Stupid Human Behavior - In Real Time

This homeless dood thinks he's going to buy an island with this presentation. I don't think so...

I Want my Twenty Dollars!

You've probably seen this before. You mistakenly give a clerk the wrong bill. The clerk corrects you and you move on. Not this stupid lady!

A couple punches later and a pair of scissors to the throat and the clerk became convinced $1 was really $20.

On her way home, the woman found the $20 in her purse.
Hey Costanza...you should have looked there before you went apeshit crazy!

Stupid humans...

Stupid Humans - Man Tries to Teach Cat Lesson With a Gun

Drunk humans and firearms are never a good combination. Now I hate cats as much as anybody, but you can't teach a cat a lesson.

This cat pooped in his human's bed. His human thought the best way to teach it would be to shoot a gun at it...inside the residence...inside city limits.

Well at least this stupid human won't get cat poop in his bed at the jail.

Stupid people

Wilfred got lost. Wilfred had no tags. Wilfred's owner offered a reward. Wilfred was found by two nice ladies. Wilfred was returned to his owner. Wilfred's owner didn't pay the reward.

Lawsuit!

Poor Wilfred...

Crazy People!

Woman has sex with own son...who she gave up for adoption...and then "reconnected" with on the Internet.

You can not make this shit up.

Stupid humans!